“Till death do us part...” really?

My sweetheart, June 9th would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. You are in heaven and I'm here, yet I still do my love, I still do 💕. My heart still longs for you, and you are still mine - inside me

The ’till death do us part” of our marriage vows seems so unfair and unrealistic right now. As though death somehow wipes the slate clean of everything we had. Although you are dead Mak, I still love you, I still long for you, I still want to say that I do because I still do – death has not taken that away. So what am I supposed to do? Man this sucks so much!!